No matter where I stood, I never really felt like my placement mattered. I was incapable of fitting in, belonging. Something in me caused a difference. I was born with a short achilles tendon, which prohibited proper flexibility. Because of this, I was physically incapable of walking heel to toe. Tiptoeing was all I could accomplish. Immediately I understood how cold the world could be. Why did it feel as though I was being blamed for something that was out of my control? Growing up I wasn’t known as Gabriel, I was just TipToes to them. Just some kid who was unlike everyone else.
I hated being different. I needed an escape so music became my oxygen. I’ll always remember those late nights, writing about the feelings I didn’t understand until they finally made sense to me. The discontentment with my difference only bothered me until I came to a certain realization. Although I hated being different, it didn’t even come close to the hate I possessed for being normal. It was then when realized I no longer wanted to belong. I chose to adopt the philosophy of TipToes, and while I’m still figuring out who he is I wanted to bring to light all that I so far know.
The doctors hoped the issue would resolve itself as the years progressed, but to no avail would that occur. I had mixed feelings about the surgery. It would alleviate the discomfort, but it felt like I was throwing away who I became. Almost as if I was forgetting about who TipToes really was, until I decided to look through a different lens, one that wasn’t broken. I then concluded that you can run from yourself all that you want, however, your origin will forever be the same. That part of you will remain.
I wasn’t able to walk for nearly five months. Loneliness ensued as distance from everything and everyone took place. The time to myself reaffirmed lines between many acquaintances, and illustrated a particular mindset. One that felt cold, one that didn’t need anybody’s assistance nor reassurance. Music, becoming better, was all I cared about. I wanted to forget about my feelings and rely only on the discipline I built. Months passed, and my dedication perpetuated. Upon walking again, I stepped foot into the studio for the first time, and commenced the recording of Statue.
I envisioned a purpose. I did this by myself and for myself. I’m proving different.
